Henry’s Music Blog

Rolling Stone’s “Greatest Guitarists” list has the “privilege” of being called the worst list that they had ever made. While people will complain about their other lists, but none has received the raw, unnerving hatred from nerds on the internet than this. So what could could Rolling Stone do but release a new version. And somehow, the new version is actually worse. Let’s check the top 10 quickly:

1. Jimi Hendrix. Honestly, It’s hard to deny Jimi’s placement. He truly is the best guitarist ever.

2. Eric Clapton (previously Duane Allman). The first change in the ranking, I’d say Clapton and Allman are both pretty solid choices at 2, though Clapton is probably more important.

3. Jimmy Page (previously B.B. King). Still both completely solid choices. This list is starting out pretty well. Then again, so did the last one.

4. Keith Richards (previously Eric Clapton). Still solid. Rolling Stone is trying really hard not to make me hate it.

5. Jeff Beck (previously Robert Johnson). Still good. Though we will talk about Johnson later.

6. B.B. King (previously Chuck Berry). Again, good.

7. Chuck Berry (previously Stevie Ray Vaughn). And again.

8. Eddie Van Halen (previously Ry Cooder) And again.

9. Duane Allman (previously Jimmy Page) And again.

10.Pete Townshend (previously Keith Richards) Now here’s the first problem. Pete Townshend wrote amazing songs. But the songs really were made by Keith Moon and John Entwistle. This is why The Who sucks these days. Windmills don’t cut it for me.

As can be seen, the list is fine in the top 10 until Pete. Now it’s up for the rest of the list to completely lose me. Here is a list of problems with this list.

1. ROBERT JOHNSON. Robert Johnson should not have moved. He went from 5 to 71. I can’t think of another guitarist who could play three parts at once. Before overdubbing even existed.

2. Prog Rock. A lot of people complained about the lack of Alex Lifeson from Rush on the original list. They have a point. Lifeson is a great guitarist. He’s at 98. Right below Steve Jones. And while that happened, Steve Howe of Yes and Adam Jones of Tool were removed, and they dropped Robert Fripp of King Crimson to 62, and his article just ends in the middle of a sentence. That’s just sloppy.

3. Punk Rock. The biggest complaint with the earlier list was a focus on punk rockers, when people who listen to punk don’t care about the greatest guitarists ever. Mostly they listened. They got rid of both guitarists of the MC5, for instance. But there’s still two main problems. One, they added Steve Jones. Two, they got rid of D. Boon, lead singer of the Minutemen. The problem is that D. Boon really is a great guitarist. And all this while Kurt Cobain remains on.

4. Johnny Winter’s photo looks like a scarecrow.

5. Large Movements. While it’s normal for something to move on an updated list, some of the leaps here are massive. Just for one, Jack White has moved from 17 to 70, and John Frusciante has moved from 18 to 72. Thurston Moore from 34 to 99, and Dick Dale has gone from 31 to 74. But perhaps worst of all was Eddie Hazel going from 43 to 83. To clear all things up, here’s Maggot Brain. Listen to it. It is magic.

6. The Disappearances. Lots of great musicians were taken out. I already talked about Steve Howe, Adam Jones, and D. Boon. But we’re also now missing Kevin Shields, Kirk Hammett, Lee Ranaldo of Sonic Youth, Vernon Reid, Kim Thayil, and John Fogerty. Funniest of all missing, though, is Roy Buchanan. His article in the old version mentions him as The Best Unknown Guitarist in the World. And this new list is probably not helping.

7. The new faces. I admit, this one is less of a problem than the others, but I just wanted to bring this up. Some of the new faces are truly good, like J. Mascis, Slash, and Nels Cline. Some are weird, like Peter Buck and Johnny Marr. But some don’t belong. Mostly, I’m taking about Bruce Springsteen and Willie Nelson. Both are great artists, but neither is known for their guitar prowess, like Prince. Speaking of which, Prince is also new to the list.

8. Still missing artists. Many truly excellent guitarists are still missing from the list. Two artists that people complained about were added, in Alex Lifeson and Chet Atkins. However, many HIGHLY regarded artists are missing. Steve Vai, Joe Satriani, and John Petrucci are all still missing, while all are considered true masters of the guitar. However, the most painful continued absence is Django Reinheadt who played guitar on the level with people 50 years later than him, while only playing with two fingers. That is a real master.

I could go on for a long time, but I think this speaks for itself. This list is terrible. Rolling Stone really needs to learn that their time has passed, and it is their time to leave, while they’re at least somewhat ahead.